Self Examination
Once we realize something needs to change, we then need to pinpoint what exactly should be changed. First we acknowledge that God alone has the power to help us change, then we must start tuning in to the movements in our thoughts and actions for this is how we discern what we need to work on. Daily self examination is recommended. We should be doing this throughout the day, but especially at the end of the day taking a general inventory is needed. Through an introspective consideration of one's own thoughts, desires, actions and emotions, we take a moral inventory. This requires a close look at how we sin in thought, word, and action. This would also include examining things in the day that caused anxiety, frustration, dissatisfaction, and despondency. If done with complete honesty the sins and passions that cause us harm will be revealed. Only then can look our mistakes square in the eyes and, as St. John Chrysostom says, condemn them, “for he who condemns his sins is slower to fall into them again.”
The passion with the most glaringly obvious pattern, the one that is the habit that causes you the most suffering or grief, is the one you want to work on first. Sometimes this is obvious. However, for some their passion is not so obvious. The Here’s what Lorenzo Scupoli recommends in Unseen Warfare:
“The order in which it is necessary to fight your enemies and struggle with your bad desires and passions, is the following: enter with attention into the heart and examine carefully with what thoughts, dispositions and passionate attachments it is specially occupied, and which passion is most predominant and tyranically rules there. Then against this passion first of all take up arms and struggle to overcome it. On this one concentrate all your attention and care…”
Pinning down the more elusive passions in your life can be tricky. There are key indicators that can help shine a spotlight on them. They are:
1. Lying: Do you lie or deceive yourself or others to cover up the passion or sin?
2. Irritation: Do you feel irritated or restless if the passion can’t be fulfilled?
3. Preoccupation: Are you thinking about this passion throughout the day?
4. Shame: Do you feel uneasy and shameful when you engage in the passion?
5. Pattern: Is this “thing” a rooted pattern that I can’t or don’t want to change?
Reflecting on the 8 passions and reviewing the long list of sins can help shed light on areas that require improvement. Ask yourself the following questions:
Gluttony: Do I often overeat, eat in secret, or think about and obsess over food. Do I frequently eat excessive amounts of sweets and unhealthy food? Do I frequently drink alcohol, and do I often drink too much alcohol? Am I often waking up with a hangover? Do I have health problems that are related to my diet and eating habits?
Lust: Do I often have sexual desires for someone else, or am I obsessed with someone in a way that is not in accordance with marital union? Do I engage in unnatural sexual acts? Do I think about sex, and entertain sexual thoughts many times throughout the day? Do I frequently objectify others, or think about others in a lustful way? Do my lustful actions cause hurt to other people?
Avarice: Do I often think about money and have an insatiable desire for wealth and possessions? Do I have persistent fears related to finances and physical comforts? Is the desire for financial success and accumulation of money, wealth and possessions a primary objective? Does my love for money cause harm to others, especially by omission, disregard and hoarding?
Discontent: Do I often feel discontent, dissatisfied and brood over myself? Do I struggle to be grateful and thankful towards people? Am I quick to be lazy and inactive? Do I spend hours occupied in superfluous distractions. Am I often moody, unhappy and selfish? Do I often cause hurt to others simply by my mood, by neglect, by lack of interest?
Anger: Do I often feel anger, hatred or rage towards people or situations? Do I always tell myself why I am justified in my anger or hatred? Am I quick to judge and reject people? Does my anger often lead to a state that is irrational? Does my anger ever manifest itself in physical acts towards people or other physical actions?
Despondency: Do I often have fears and anxieties about events or people? Do I often feel hopelessness, dejection or overwhelmed? Do I fret over events that have not occurred? Do I have a hard time getting up and starting my day? Do I have a lack of interest in people and life? Do I cause others to worry about me because of my unhappiness and despondency?
Vain glory: Do I often feel embarrassed and insecure? Do I fear that people won’t or do not like me? Do I often do things to win peoples favor? Do I have a deep desire for fame, glory and respect? Does this drive me to do things that are harmful to myself or to others?
Pride: Do I often feel insecure, and sooth this feeling by telling myself that I am great or better than others? Do I crave recognition and demand attention? Do I expect others to meet my needs and wants? Do I fear humility and circumstances that are embarrassing? Do I consider myself superior to others, especially friends or loved ones? Do I have thoughts of superiority related to racial matters? Do I often put my needs, desires and pleasures before others? Do I often hurt others with prideful or selfish actions and words? Am I often ambivalent towards others?
You may find that you answered yes too many of these. Don’t be discouraged for this is entirely normal and expected. If you answer “yes, occasionally” to many of these questions chances are you have interior work to do. If you answered “yes, often”, this may be an indication of an obvious pattern or habit, in which case you probably have a battle a head of you. Although your demons may be many, striking the leader can often lay to ruin many.