5 Steps to Changing

There are five stages in the process of change and repentance: complacency, self examination, determination, battle, watchfulness:

Stage 1: Complacency: We all begin in this first stage. We are complacent and used to our bad habits. We do not intend on taking any action in the foreseeable future. We are unaware that our behavior is problematic or produces negative consequences. In this stage we may underestimate the importance or need of changing. There may even be fears that hold us back from changing our bad habits as these passions have become an important component of how we see ourselves and how we interact with others.

Stage 2: Self Examination: In this stage, we identify our sins and bad habits, usually starting off with the one that is causing us the most damage, discontent or restlessness. Upon self-reflection, the intention to start the healthy behavior begins.

Stage 3: Determination: In this stage the warfare begins. We are ready to take action as we have finally found our inner resolve. People start to take small steps toward the behavior change, and they believe changing their behavior can lead to a healthier and more content life.

Stage 4: Battle (change): In this stage we take our determination and resolve and we begin to change our behavior by battling with our thoughts, words and actions. When temptations arise we cut them off immediately at their provocation (see the first step in 5 Steps of Forming a Passion). This stage requires intention to keep moving forward with change. This stage often requires us to change daily habits as well as social habits. While conducting warfare we are constantly trying to resort to prayer. During battle we will always keep in mind that we may slip up and fall and when we do, we get back up (see What to do When Wounded in Battle. As we make progress we must always give thanks to God for any success as progress can only be made by God’s grace. 

Stage 5: Watchfulness: In this stage we have sustained behavior change for a while and intend to maintain the behavior change going forward. Once we have made progress, in this stage the underlying resolve becomes stronger and we work to prevent relapse to earlier stages. Because we know the enemy is elusive and always present we maintain watchfulness at all times in mind, heart and will. Never do we consider ourselves completely free from the sin or passion and assume that relapse is always a moment away. Watchfulness is always accompanied by constant prayer and reliance on God. We must not attribute success to ourselves as this can lead to a downfall. All progress in the spiritual is by God’s grace and His power working in us as we can do nothing without Him.